wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
