It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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