So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
