Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
