he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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