I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
