Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
