did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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