I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
zippers are such a cool invention
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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