Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Randomize
