how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
