my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
