i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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