sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
