She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
