he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
