One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
