then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
