and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
it glows. i had to have it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
