I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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