Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
