Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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