you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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