OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
