I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Two words: nipple clamps
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