you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
