i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
