How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so explain again why im purple
no
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
