I am in a vortex of obligation.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
