Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
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