I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Found the puke drawer
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
