I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
