My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
