you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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