I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I didn't notice because vodka
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
