Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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