my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
