Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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