Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Randomize