It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
