We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
not ubering you a puppy
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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