i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
