I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
