try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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