it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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