i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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