I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
