I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
