I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
