Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
