he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
