You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
