Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
